FatCratz

FatCratz is...

meant to be a lighthearted picture of what government does well, and what it does poorly, through the eyes of government employees. So that we might look to government to do the right things, and not expect too much, or too little, of it.

I don't want to buy my next car from the DMV.

Prize Money for Bureaucrats

John Steele Gordon has a brilliant op-ed in the Wall Street Journal today (subscription required and worth every penny), that powerfully captures the essence of what FatCratz is all about. The piece is brilliant because it both nails the problem of government bureaucracy and offers a real-world solution.

First, the problem:

Bureaucrats, alas, are... highly disincentivized to increase efficiency and to innovate. In business a penny saved is a penny earned, the savings flowing directly to the all-important bottom line. But in a bureaucracy, a penny saved is a penny likely to be cut from next year's budget. And prestige in a bureaucracy comes not from profit but from the size of one's budget. So even accidental savings are likely to be suppressed with make-work.

And then the solution, admittedly outside the box, but not entirely unworkable:

Let's say the federal widget inspection office in Seattle comes up with a way to save a million dollars a year by changing the method it uses to inspect widgets. Why not give personnel in that office the first year's savings, distributing it according to a set formula akin to that of the Royal Navy's? A million dollars in "prize money" would certainly be an incentive to motivate even the most slothful government office to find new ways to do things.

This solution is doubly brilliant because it is introduced by a reference to Patrick O'Brian novels, which are near and dear to the FatCratz heart for their evocative portrayal of the dictum, "Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."

This solution could also be employed in the private sector, which in large companies often becomes stratified enough to resemble a government bureaucracy. By distributing the rewards of increased efficiency widely to the members of a large team instead of rewarding a handful of credit-hungry managers, it provides incentives to the entire team.

Any one have any examples of this model being used in business or government?

FatCratz is...

A) A comparative sociological exploration of the cultural differences between the private and public sector workplace;

B) A GSB case-study of the structural limitations of public organizations to achieve their intended goals, with the intended goal of public policy prescriptions for a leaner, meaner federal government that does what it is supposed to and does it well;

C) An outlet for government employees to share their water-cooler humor about the mind-numbing inefficiencies of their workplace;

D) A Tea Party-inspired rant against an overbearing federal government hoping to contribute to its implosion;

E) All of the above.*

*The answer is of course is E, with an asterisk (on loan from MLB/Barry Bonds) noting for the record books that the FatCratz preceded the birth of the national Tea Party Movement on Tax Day 2009--we were officially birthed on April 1, 2009--and was inspired, one might say "percolated", by years of federal service.**

**Said federal service occurred entirely during the second Bush administration, which underlines the fact that FatCratz is non-partisan in its drive for a smaller, more efficient, less funny government.

About the Return of FatCratz

We've been away for a while, so I want to re-introduce the idea of FatCratz. 

FatCratz believes, first, in good government, and believes ours is one of the best. However, we also believe that government does some things well, and others, not so well. And one of our biggest problems today is in proposing a government solution to problems before we've considered, or exhausted, others.

Further, FatCratz believes that nobody knows about government incompetency like government employees. They share them around the water cooler, they laugh and roll their eyes, they shrug their shoulders. And yes, it the waste is qualitatively different, and much worse, than the private sector.

The goal of FatCratz is to recruit principled government employees to be our eyes and ears, and to educate America and help us bring down the level of confidence in government a notch or two. The experiment of FatCratz was that there was enough of these people out there to keep this site going with their stories. 

First time around, the experiment failed. I'm starting things up again in hopes that we might make it work this time.

But I need your help. Tell friends about FatCratz. Send your contributions. Share it with friends who work for the government. Don't worry. I'll protect my sources, I'll keep the stories anonymous.

We'll see.

Know Your Member II: The Combination

Thanks to a new contributor, here's the second installment of Know Your Member (explained here). Like the first, this one is a little hard to believe. But I'm not sure how you could make it up, either.

I read your story about Congressman who was throwing out staplers, and had to laugh. I worked for a member who from time to time was a little paranoid, and though the following didn't happen to me, I was in the office when it occurred.

Our boss was at the airport getting ready to board his plane on the way back to the district, when he called in a panic because he had left his eyeglasses and some other personal items in his DC apartment. He wanted an assistant to run to his house, pick them up, and deliver them to the airport before the plane took off. The only problem was that the assistant didn't have keys to the place.

Fortunately, there was one of those real estate key boxes on the door with a combo lock. Here's where things get a bit surreal. The Congressman didn't want to reveal the combo over the phone. It wasn't clear whether he thought someone might be wiretapping his calls, or someone in the seat beside him might be listening in (and know who he was, and where he lived, and memorize the combo, etc.).

Solution? The Congressman asked his assistant to guess the combo. Four or five digits, one digit at a time. After each guess, he'd give hints ("higher" or "lower"). And when he got it right, he'd signal in the affirmative.

Big Business vs. Big Government: FatCats vs. FatCratz

A new Gallup poll confirms that most Americans still see Big Government as the biggest threat to our country, vs. Big Business and Big Labor. The margin, however, is slipping, from a 36 point gap in 2006 (61-25) to a 23 point gap today (55-32).

As we noted in a previous post, though they distrust "Big Government," the waste and abuse endemic to the public sector is generally under-reported. Like the recent Rasmussen poll on capitalism vs. socialism, the shift in these numbers also reflect the presence of high-profile fraud and abuse in the private sector. While the phony FatCat is a media darling, the FatCrat is a relatively unknown creature.

FatCratz is like a PR agency for the unsung FatCrat. Our mission, is to put a face (if not a name) on American's fear of Big Government.

FatCratz and Accountability

One of the defining features of a FatCrat is a lack of accountability. One of the great frustrations of being an honest public servant is serving under, or alongside, or in supervision of, colleagues who don't fear recrimination for misconduct.

A lack of accountability is an unfortunate side effect of government bureaucracies. Political appointees, career civil servants, and private contractors all find themselves holding positions of public trust, with little or no checks on their power, or efficiency.

Why else would government employees sit at their desks openly playing solitaire on their computers?

Contribute!

Remember, the FatCratz model is that we hear stories from inside the insane asylum. While it's enjoyable to explore the glories of the public sector from the outside, it has a more exotic flair when you see the workings from the inside.

The asylum is a harsh metaphor, to be sure, but certainly applicable. As we've illustrated, life in the public sector can be a complete inversion of the real world. After a while, you accommodate yourself, and it starts to seem normal.

If you think we're wrong, let us know. If you agree, drop us a line. We want to hear from you.

Contribute. It's anonymous.

Capitalism vs. Socialism; FatCats vs. FatCratz

There has been a lot of chatter about the Rasmussen poll that found that only 53% of Americans prefer capitalism to socialism. 20% prefer socialism, 27% don't have an opinion.

In one sense, this level of support for capitalism is quite strong, given that most Americans associate "capitalism" with corporate greed and scam-artist FatCats like Bernard Madoff and Allen Stanford. Corporate fraud and abuse is a media darling; we are inundated with images of the abusers of the free market.

In contrast, while Americans are inherently distrustful of government collectivism and control of the economy, it has no public face. Government fraud, waste, and abuse is dog bites man, and it usually only pierces our media bubble when it is uncovered on a massive scale.

In other words, there is significant journalistic bias in the coverage of FatCats vs. FatCratz, and our evaluation of the public sector vs. the private sector is therefore based on an inaccurate set of impressions and information.

Two Very Different Responses to FatCratz (2 of 2)

And, here's a completely different response to FatCratz (my responses interspersed):

In the world of technology and bioscience, we accept few limits. Entrepreneurs achieve the unimaginable daily.

FatCratz hopes to develop the contrast between the public and private sector, particularly illustrating how the entrepreneurial and risk-taking spirit endemic to American innovation is almost entirely snuffed out in the government workplace.

However, when it comes to government, which only anarchists believe we can do without, we throw up our hands and say improvement is impossible. Government will always be slow, unable to innovate, and an inefficient drag on the economy (and perhaps our personal liberties).

FatCratz is not anarchist, or anti-government. We believe that government's competencies are limited. And we believe that government is not necessary in many areas of our society where its presence today is assumed. In short, government is far more expansive than it needs to be, and very much of its activity is extended well beyond its area of necessity.

While I have spent 15 years as a government employee, often being slapped down for pushing the envelope, I still believe we can do better by tapping the same entrepreneurial spirit that makes Moore's law work, that allows Dean Kamen to build a robotic arm for our vets that works on neural stimulation, that makes the $1,000 genome a future possibility, and let's admit it, put a man on the moon and brought him safely to earth before the end of the decade (60s).

Let's devise an X Prize for improving government.

I'm a realist, but I share a bit of this optimism. We can do government better, but only if enough people insist we stopping doing it like we're doing it now. That's a goal of FatCratz, to reveal the bad to more people to shift our current complacency a bit.

The moon shot is an excellent example of government working to achieve a big goal. Unfortunately, NASA today is also an excellent example of how government programs outlive their useful lifespan and become increasingly wasteful as they lose the focus of their original mission.

FatCratz will now begin accepting suggestions for the X Prize for improving government.

Thanks for the feedback on the site.